Dave Hill | Comedian, Author, Actor

2, 3, 4.

Hello.

Welcome back.

Here you go, episode 103 of Short Takes.

Third episode of the first season.

Trying my hand out at interviewing people far and wide.

Artists, musicians, what have you.

This was the episode that blew my mind.

This was the episode where I thought to myself, oh, I can ask anyone to come on the show, can I?

The worst case scenario is that they're just gonna say no, and that's okay and I'll move on.

I'm really glad that I asked Dave Hill, the guest, to come on Short Takes.

I remember he replied and said yes.

And he replied, it wasn't a publicist, it was not a manager.

I was so impressed and befuddled.

He was so nice about it.

I said that.

But he was genteel as well, and I don't think he'll mind me saying that.

I can remember going to my coworker's room next door and saying, you're not going to believe who I got.

This comedian said yes to be on my show.

And I had his book in my hand because I had already started reading it and it was hilarious.

So instead, what we have is Dave Hill joining the show.

The first time I got someone whom I did not know or wasn't connected to in some fashion.

Dave is a musician and primarily comedian and an actor.

I suppose he's all of those things at once.

That's actually his band playing the theme song till Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.

But Dave Hill is also an author.

I mentioned that, having written four or five books to this point, all of them are funny.

I can recommend them highly.

Dave Hill Doesn't Live Here Anymore is the favorite of mine, but it might not be your favorite.

I can recommend them all highly.

He also has a sub stack which he writes about about about once a week, maybe once every two weeks at the most.

And there are some really funny moments in there, gut bustingly funny there.

Around the time of this recording, he had been one of the first men on the moon, metaphorically speaking.

He had been just kicked off Twitter and now we've all left Twitter.

We talk about that in the episode.

We also mentioned his writing, how good it actually is for.

You know, maybe you would just pass off a comedian as not being that good of a writer, but he is.

He has great stories.

He has great stories.

He has won winning tickets to a monster truck show involving the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Somehow I forgot how that all got mixed together.

Then he talks some religion, atheism, and, you know, we end every episode with what's done up real good.

He answers that for us.

The dated references that I can remember is that he has a small role on this show called Girls Forever.

The four is the number and it's Eva, but that's now on Netflix.

You may have seen it so.

And if not, you can go and see his small performance there.

He has a small role and really Dave was the first major guest I'd had on the show when it came to real deal show bizarre.

He's still out there, he's still doing it.

He's still doing comedy.

His Instagram reels are still a lot of fun as well as his stand up comedy and his work as an actor and a writer still continues.

So here's this week's audio only episode of Short takes, originally from May 14, 2021, four years ago.

It's still on YouTube if you so desire to see it that way.

But enjoy the audio.

Foreign.

Welcome once again to the Alabama Take our series Short Takes.

I'm your host still to this day.

My name is Blaine Duncan.

Short Takes is a brief interview talk show with one of our favorite people.

And after some salutations, what we do is we ask our guests four questions with the fourth one always being the same.

If you've watched our couple of shows so far, you know what that fourth question is going to be.

If you're familiar with our website, you may know what that is.

Today it is my honor, it really is, to introduce comedian, musician, writer, runner, toast aficionado, former funniest man on Twitter.

And I'll talk about why that's he's still one of the funniest men online.

His name is Mr. Dave Hill.

Hey, Dave.

Hey, Belen, thanks for having me.

Thanks for coming on, man.

So no doubt, my friends and I agree, you are by far one of the funniest people who have been on Twitter.

And lucky, lucky for me, lucky for my friends, you have transferred that same humor over to Instagram.

Do you miss Twitter at all?

Not really.

I, I mean, the only thing I miss is that it was a good place to, you know, if you think of a joke or funny idea, you kind of just throw it up there.

And so it's kind of a nice notepad and you can kind of get feedback on something or maybe, you know, maybe feedback on something that you didn't think was really anything and you're like, oh, this is somehow resonating with people and you can build on that idea.

So I miss that aspect of it, you know, the creative aspect of it.

And you know, it would Help me write jokes for my, you know, stand up and things like that.

But I don't.

Other than that, I think it's.

No, I don't miss any of it.

You know, I have, like, two extra hours in the day, and, you know, by.

Not.

And I don't start my day, you know, looking at Twitter and, you know, being in a bad mood.

I mean, I think social media is.

You know, I don't want.

I'm not gonna say anything that hasn't been said, but it's just kind of.

I feel like it's.

It's just.

It's a thing that you can't be satisfied.

You know, like, you're like, oh, why didn't more people like that retweet that or engage with that?

I thought that was great.

Like, why is.

Why is everyone like this thing that this person said and not what I said or, you know, I just think it's like a death spy death spiral.

Not a.

You know, it's just sort of like ego stuff that isn't healthy, I think.

And.

And, you know, I think it's.

I guess the short answer is more negative than positive.

So, no, I don't miss it.

Yeah.

Is.

Do you feel like Instagram's as.

As negatives?

Just speaking of social media, really, it's maybe, you know, they can all be positive and negative.

I mean, I think Twitter, going back to that, like, there's been phases of it that I do miss.

Like the early, you know, when I first.

When I first was on it and when it first was becoming a thing, you know, comedians and different creative people being on it, it was a great way to connect with people.

And, you know, I met people all over the world and, you know, you'd be like, oh, I'm going to London.

And, you know, early on, like, you know, the guys at the Onion, when they were in New York were like, hey, we like, you know, why don't you come to our party and, like, go to the party?

I'm like, oh, I'm going to London.

They're like, oh, you should connect with this guy.

And so it's great in that way.

And now.

And so now.

Now, I guess Instagram is a similar thing.

I guess the only thing I don't like is about Instagram is like, and this is probably in my head, but you start to feel like, oh, if I'm not posting about this thing, then people must think I don't support it.

You know, so I. I try to have fun.

But you, you know, sometimes, because there Are people to be like, why didn't.

Calling out all the comedians that didn't post about the barge that went under in the Adriatic Sea.

How could you not be shining light on this?

You know, whatever.

The thing is, I find that a bit exhausting sometimes.

And then, you know, sometimes, because it.

Most of what I do is goof around, you know?

You know, then you post something and someone be like, what?

I. I didn't know you were.

I didn't know you were against injustice.

How dare you?

You know, like, how dare you be against racism?

I thought you were cool.

You know, things like that.

You know, if someone, like, only follows me for my bike videos or something or whatever, I'm just.

Which are great, by the way.

Thank you.

I'm just.

I'm just.

Now you probably regret talking to me because you're like, dave is a rambling, unhinged lunatic.

But no, I'm just sort of thinking out loud.

I'm pretty much a rambling, unhinged lunatic.

So, yeah, I have to say that there are.

That brings me to my next point, which is there are a few writers who make me physically laugh out loud, and that's even comedians.

But I found myself doing it repeatedly with your books and your essays online as well.

I just.

Thank you.

I'm almost finished with Dave Hill doesn't live here anymore.

I've got that right here with me.

But I'll put an actual image up on screen for people to see.

And I'm about to start parking the Moose, which is.

I'm thrilled to do that, honestly.

There.

There is.

And I read a lot of comedians, their printed work, you know, their books and stuff.

I think that you and Norm MacDonald are the two that make me actually, like, physically belt out laughter.

Oh, wow, thank you.

I'm in good company then.

That's high praise.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What can you.

Can you put into words what the difference between writing from the page and writing for stand up is?

It's got to be two different arts.

Yeah, I think it's.

It's different.

You know, it's not as simple as, you know, you.

You can't just go out and say the same words on stage that you wrote.

It doesn't quite work.

And then I can't just write down, like, if I have, like, a story or whatever I've been telling on stage, it doesn't quite work to just write down exactly what I would say on stage.

I don't know.

You know, it's.

There's an energy, you know, when you're on Stage, there's an energy to it, dealing with the audience right away and feeling that energy and kind of pushing and pulling with that.

And with writing on the page, it's just kind of a different feeling.

I mean, I guess I think more in terms of talking to one person.

When I'm writing for the page, I'm kind of thinking, like, one person is going to be sitting there.

And so I'm writing it and reading it back.

And so I'm pretending to be the one person.

And then there's a voice in my head that's yelling at me, saying, I'm horrible, and I shouldn't have tried in the first place to even do it.

And then there's the other voice.

It's like, well, we have to do it now because we already took the money.

We gotta finish this book.

You know, so there's a lot of that, maybe less of that with.

I would say that, you know, both things, you know, it's probably easier to get in the flow of being on, you know, and on stage.

You can work it out on stage.

And.

And it's more.

I'm not really hearing the voices in my head telling me they tell me I'm horrible right before I go on, and then immediately after I get off and then.

But, you know, writing.

You know, writing for a book or an essay or whatever feel is a different.

Though I have to say.

You know, I'd say the first two books.

My first two books, I tormented myself a lot the whole time.

And then with Parking the Moose, the third book, I was kind of like, what if.

What if I didn't bother tormenting myself, you know, and just let myself write the book and try to do the best I can and see where that gets me?

And.

And I think.

I don't.

I don't think it affected the quality negatively to not torment myself quite as much.

I did.

That was the sort of grand experiment with that book is like, I'll just write it and not berate myself mentally.

And then even with the publisher, I tried to, though they may argue differently.

But I was like, and I'm not gonna be a prick to anyone at the publisher.

I'm not gonna fight over artwork, you know.

Cause I.

You know, the first two books, I was pretty, like, combative about what the COVID would be in ways like that.

More, my agent was like, you know, most.

You know, most authors don't get away with this, you know, But I was.

I just really wanted the COVID to be right.

And fortunately, actually, you know, I'm happy With all the covers, of course, but with Parking the Moose, they sent the COVID and I loved it right away.

So there was.

There was no.

Wasn't.

Like I suppressed any anger or whatever.

Not anger, but like, you know, I'm just really into visual things as well.

So when it comes to artwork, I can be a real bitch.

You do have a lot of irons in the fire.

You know, speaking of being individual art as well.

You tell any.

Tell our viewers anything I miss, I'm gonna try to rattle off what all you.

You tend to do stand up comedy when there isn't a pandemic.

You Front Valley Lodge.

And people may know that band from Go, the song Go that plays at the beginning of every episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.

Yep.

You write, you're an author, you front Witch Tank.

Well, I'm.

Right, I'm in.

Which I. I do some sing.

It's me and.

Me and my buddy Phil, AKA Matthias, backwards, though he does most of the scenes.

He stands in the middle, so.

Okay.

Okay.

He's.

I would say he's the main.

You're in that band, though.

I'm.

Yeah, I'm the.

You know, it all started with acting.

I do acting.

I made a guest appearance on Peacock's new show that's now on Peacock Girls five.

Girls five Eva.

That just came out.

And yeah, I'm on an episode of that.

Yeah, I'm in it.

And I'm in a movie called Drunk Bus that comes out May 21, which I'm really excited about as well.

Yeah.

And I do.

I do acting.

Not as much as I'd like to, but fortunately I get to do it a few times a year.

People will let me come and play a pervert or some drug dealer or something.

Or a perverted drug dealer.

Yeah, yeah.

The sweet spot.

That's my sweet spot.

Actually.

Combine the two, there's a chapter in.

Dave Hill doesn't Live Here Anymore titled Giving Something Back, where you show up to an event where only one person's there and he's eating soup.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm really hoping you don't feel like today you've got yourself in a similar situation.

No, not at all.

No, I would.

I would.

You could probably sense it if I did feel that way.

But I have to say, you know, I was just talking about this last night with a friend I don't really look at.

You know, when things go really badly, you know me, you know, I got myself in some situation where I'm like, oh, God, in the Big picture.

It's really all positives because then I can talk about it on stage or write about it, you know, or just laugh about it over.

Over dinner.

I don't.

There's very few things where I look back and be like, oh, my gosh, I really wish that didn't happen.

A handful here and there.

The episode with the one guy, Mark, eating soup.

And then the kung fu chapter where you go kung fu are.

Those are the best to me in the book.

Oh, thanks.

You know, the kung fu, I still feel, because I think of the, you know, this idea of kung fu and like, the things we see in movies, you know, like, there seems to be such honor with it that when I stopped, I felt like I had to buy these shoes to take to join the school, you know, And I had them in my.

My closet for the longest time.

And my friend was like, oh, I love those shoes.

They're so comfortable.

And I couldn't bring myself to wear them because I was like, you don't deserve to wear those shoes, Dave.

You failed at kung fu.

You quit.

Like, those shoes mock you.

And.

But then my dog run shoes that I normally wear, they were kind of worn out, and I was like, I need to buy a new pair.

And I was like, well, I have these kung fu shoes.

So I started wearing them recently, and they are amazingly comfortable.

And I like to think that people that can recognize them as kung fu shoes know not to mess with me because I am a martial artist, even though I'm not.

Let's be clear.

Yeah, well, three classes does not a martial artist make.

No, I mean, it's fun while it lasted.

It's a good exercise.

Such a funny chapter, I'll tell you that.

Oh, thanks.

So, yeah, I've mentioned you want to do the four questions.

Sure.

Whatever you want.

Whatever works.

Let's do it.

Okay.

So here come our four questions.

This is kind of what we based the show around.

I've mentioned a lot of your accomplishments.

What are the three best things about you that your followers and fans may not know?

The best things.

I mean, I feel like so much of my life is.

I mean, well, like everyone's life is out there, you know, and there it's whatever.

But I would say things that people wouldn't know.

I never take, like, the last slice of pizza or anything like that.

I'll always make every effort to make sure someone else can.

Like, I was out with friends the other night.

We got mozzarella balls, and there was one left.

And I really was like, hey, someone Else eat this.

And once I truly, once I establish that no one else wants something, then I will eat the last of something, but not until I've exhausted every possibility that someone else might want to eat it instead.

So I think that's maybe annoying after a point, but in general it's a good quality.

That's a good quality, sure.

What else?

I really, I love animals.

But I think most people know that with my dog.

But I love, really, I love goats.

I don't think a lot of people know how much I love.

I think it.

Well, you read about in parking the moose.

I get into my affinity for goat.

I love, I love animals.

Frolicking with animals though, I don't know if that's a secret I've met.

Good quality though.

It's a good quality.

And then just things, the things that come to mind that I don't think I've talked about too much.

This is fully bragging.

There's been instances where I've sort of done heroic acts in public where like you have to act, you know, you can't think, you just have to.

So this my favorite one is there were these women got on, this is a few years ago in New York.

They got on the train and they were just being really loud and it was raining and they, they were.

And this guy was sort of glaring at them to.

It was a crowded rush hour train, you know, they were shoving, shove their way onto the train.

Just being very inconsiderate.

And this guy was kind of giving them a hard time and they were yelling at him, like calling him ugly, just insulting him, you know.

And they got off the train and the door opened and it was.

The door was not closing and I had it in my head, they had these umbrellas and I was like, I think they're gonna come back and hit this guy in the head with the umbrella.

I just could sense that this was what was gonna happen.

And I was reading a book, I can't remember the book.

Anyway, I was reading the book.

Very proud of this story, as you can tell.

And I don't even know if this answers your question now that I'm hearing myself.

But anyway.

Well, it's still a great story so far.

He was, he had his back to the open door so he couldn't see them and they sure enough came back and tried to hit him in the head with their umbrella.

Like bat him in the head.

And I was reading my book and so right as they swung, I like grabbed the umbrella and stopped it just short of his head.

He thought I was insane because I just reached behind his head and he didn't know what was happening.

And he was just like, why is this guy grabbing behind my head?

The women with the umbrellas were like, oh, this guy's a superhero.

We didn't see that coming.

And then there was this beautiful woman like standing right here who witnessed the whole thing.

And this is like something out of a movie.

She.

So they pulled the women, pulled the umbrella away and ran off.

Like, oh my God, that guy thwarted our attempt at hitting this guy.

And then the beautiful woman just said, wow, you're good.

And I was like, yeah, that was pretty awesome.

Anyway, so there's that my heroic.

And I have other heroic tales of subway.

You know, saving old ladies, falling down escalators, things like that.

Just no, there's only one story this.

So I have two good.

People.

I did.

There was another time there were two older ladies, like where one got an escalator and was like, whoa.

And fell down and the other was trying to drag her off the escalator.

And I just.

That's not funny.

I just grabbed the woman and dragged her off the escalator and set her down and continued on my way.

So subway heroics, I think is a thing that no one, you know, maybe friends might.

I've bored them with these stories.

But.

So that's the thing.

I didn't see that coming.

No.

Subway heroics, very big with me.

And did I mention I've driven a monster truck?

I didn't know this.

I don't think it's documented in any of my work, but I once drove through the Gravedigger monster truck.

The you.

You drove the monster truck?

Yeah, the Michael, the Barbara Streisand of monster trucks.

I drove it years ago in the 90s.

My first band, Sons of Elvis.

Best slash worst band name ever.

We, you know, is the 90s.

So it would have been like a peak time for a band to put a monster truck on an album cover.

You know, it's very trendy to be to sort of co opt things like that.

So we used a photo of Gravedigger for one of our singles.

And then the guy, Dennis Anderson, that, the Gravedigger guy, invited us to his compound in I think Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina.

And so we, the band went down there and we all got to drive.

Interest of full disclosure.

The version there's multiple gravediggers, just like there's multiple Shamu's.

You know, if there is Shamu anymore, I don't even know the Gravedigger we drove was like, not as.

It was slight.

It was meant for, like, just driving around.

It wasn't competition ready, but it was.

It looked the same.

Oh, okay.

I'll give you one more.

This is more than you asked for.

It's great.

I once ate, I think, 15 raw jalapeno peppers in like, in one minute.

First of all, like, anyone who's into spicy foods knows that raw jalapeno peppers, that's like amateur hour.

That's not anything really.

But when you have 15 raw ones in a minute, that becomes a different sport.

It was like again, going, I think the 90s.

Whenever Dave Navarro was in Red Hot Chili Peppers and they made the record One Hot Minute.

Whenever that was.

I was living in Cleveland, where I'm from, and the local radio station had like a Cinco de Mayo contest where you could go to the local whatever, Mexican.

It wasn't like a good Mexican restaurant.

It was like a chain bad Mexican restaurant and they had a contest.

Whoever could eat 15 jalapeno peppers in under a minute got front row seats to Red Hot Chili Peppers at the whatever Arena.

I can't remember they changed the name of the arena every week anymore.

So I didn't really want the tickets necessarily.

But just as a point of pride, I wanted to win.

That's not a swipe at Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I. I would just.

If John Frusciante was the guitar player, I would have taken the tickets anyway.

So I won and I got the tickets.

And no disrespect to Dave Navarro, but I just feel like I didn't need to go see that.

So I ended up, I think I sold the tickets, which I wouldn't do today.

It's a different time in my life when I needed the money.

So I sold.

I think I sold them for like 50 bucks.

Like, not a lot of money.

So did the.

Was it.

Did you throw up?

I did.

That's a very good question.

I.

Because what happened actually is the guy across from me, we tied because he, I don't think was ready to go at it that hard.

But he.

He saw how quickly I was eating them and was like, I better step it up.

So we actually tied and they wanted to have like a tie breaker contest and have us eat more of them.

And we both, in an act of solidarity, we both said like, no, neither one of us are eating any more peppers.

You owe us both the tickets.

And so they, they gave us both front row tickets.

So I think it was real problem solving lesson, I think, of working Together rather than battle each other.

Hey, let's work together.

And we joined forces and defeated the radio station that was going to try to get us to eat more peppers.

Anyway, what happened was then they gave us milk to like cool off.

And I did throw up because I was.

I mean, this is gross, but it's a different time in my life.

I made myself throw up because I thought, you know, as anyone who eats really spicy food knows, you pay the price twice.

So.

Yes, sir.

I didn't want to deal with the second toll, I guess.

So I threw up rather than deal with it the next day.

So there you go.

Understandable.

I think I gave you, maybe gave you too many things.

That was great.

And, and we found out more about you.

You did perfect, whether you like it or not.

Yeah.

So I'm a teacher in my spare time.

Oh, nice.

Yeah.

How do you have spare time as a teacher?

Isn't that, that's.

Yeah, yeah.

That's not a thing at all, the spare time thing.

But I do want, let's say you could say something to my students.

I teach 16, 17 year old kids, juniors in high school.

Yeah.

So what do you wish somebody would have told you when you were 17?

I would say that you.

Any the hierarchy of whatever you think is important at that age, none of it matters at all.

You know, being the cool kid, the coolest, most popular kid in high school, that might be as good as it gets for them, you know, so you don't want to be that guy, you know, don't worry any, don't, don't worry about any of that stuff.

Don't worry about fitting in.

I think I knew that already by that age.

Fitting in is absolutely pointless.

You just want to be the best you, you can be.

You're not.

You don't want to.

You want to be the best Dave Hill or Blaine Duncan.

You don't want to be the best, the kid who fits in the most in your school.

It doesn't matter at all.

And the only thing that matters is just being kind and helping other people.

You know, love and kindness.

I know it's a cliche, but those are the only things I think that matters.

I don't know.

So that's what I would say.

Be, you know, have fun and just do, do.

As long as no one's getting hurt, you know, as long as, no, you're not getting hurt, no one else is getting hurt.

You should do whatever you're thinking about doing.

Just whatever crazy idea you have, as long as it doesn't like Hurt anyone in any way, do it.

Like, if you're like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna build a.

Whatever, a Godzilla out of bananas or.

I don't know.

That's not.

Don't do that.

Don't do that specifically, but, you know, just do whatever crazy idea you're thinking of.

Yeah, that's all.

Because the older I get, I mean, I sort of realize the only thing that really matters is the love and kindness and then like eating, like Chinese food with your friends or whatever food you want, you know, it could be.

It could be potato chips, it doesn't matter.

But the quality time with loved ones, that's really all that matters.

Don't worry about the other stuff.

You know, I graduated in 95 and I don't.

Was it a thing of the era or a thing of just my small town that counselors didn't tell you you could do the things you saw on tv?

Like, yeah, they.

They need people to operate a camera in la.

They need people to write scripts in New York.

And no one told me this.

Yeah, that was the same thing.

You know, growing up, you know, I think.

I think I wasted.

You know, I'm a real late bloomer with everything, most things that I do.

And a big part of it was I think I spent a lot of time thinking that I had to do something that other people have.

You know, I like, do you find a job that will make you a respectable citizen?

You know, find a job that will make it so your mother can explain what you do to her friends after church, you know, and I wasted a lot of time kind of compromising my.

What I was interested in and thinking like, well, I like doing this.

What's like a practical way to do that.

And in the end, I abandoned all that and I just did what I wanted and now I do what I want it I want.

You know, I'm not like some huge superstar or bazillionaire or anything, but I've.

But I've gotten to do things in many different areas that I've always wanted to do.

And it was only once I stopped trying to fit in and please other people or try to realize someone else's expectations, you know, and you know what I realized?

A lot of it is, you know, when my mother died, you know, I spent my whole life thinking like, oh, she wants me to be this, that, or whatever.

Right before she died, I realized like, oh, that was like kind of manufactured in my head.

You know, she just wants me to be happy and not turn in tricks on the west side Highway.

Or, you know, she wants me to not, you know, she wants me to be able to eat and have a roof over my head and be happy, you know, and the.

I, I think the push and pull was mostly in my head, but I don't know.

So if any of that makes sense to 16, 17 year olds.

The other thing, drink a lot of water, stay hydrated.

I think that's important.

You know, you could even just edit out everything else I said and, and say that I.

Drink water.

Drink water.

Don't vape.

Waste of time.

Don't do that.

That's a good.

If you're gonna do it, just smoke cigarettes.

No, don't do that.

Tell them no.

But it's exactly what I tell.

It's truly jest, but, but yeah, I do say, don't bother with the vape.

Just smoke.

And then I laugh and probably have turned on way too many kids to cigarettes.

So, yeah, that.

Let's see.

I mean, going further, I would say, you know, I'm not gonna try to tell anyone what to, you know, but don't.

Hard drugs.

Don't, don't.

I'm not going to tell you to do anything.

But I can't think of anyone I've ever known who got into hard drugs and was like, wow, that was great.

I really am glad I did all that.

It doesn't work out, but we're getting too serious now with the advice.

Well, my next question is really serious, so we'll jump to three.

You mentioned your mom talking to her friends after church.

So what are your thoughts on religion?

Is there a God?

What do you think?

You know, I definitely believe in.

I think I'm sort of open and fluid to.

I think my feelings have changed.

I think ultimately, yes, I believe in.

In certainly like a higher power and things like that, but I, you know, maybe it shifted from, you know, what I grew up with, where you're like, there's this man in the sky.

I don't really think in those terms.

I'm sure I do actually think in those terms because, you know, when you're raised Catholic and I don't think, you know, people.

I say, raised Catholic, people always say, I was raised Catholic.

I think if you were raised Catholic, you can't.

You think you can escape, but you can.

You never escape.

I'll always, like when people say, oh, I was raised Catholic, but I'm not Catholic anymore.

I'm like, what, were you excommunicated?

Like, you can't.

For better or for worse, you can't ever get it out of you.

So anyway, but I.

Anyway, so I think my perceptions change.

But I, you know, I think especially, you know, I think there is, you know, and any way you look at it, really, if you even want to look at it from just energy and quantum physics or string theory or whatever, I think energy, you know, energy what neither created nor destroyed.

And I think in my experiences, you know, with my mother dying, I really have experienced profound things, I think in my connection with her, you know, since she's been gone.

So I.

But in terms of like a formal definition, I guess I'm not.

I'm reluctant to pin down what the definition.

But ultimately the short answer, yes, there is.

Is a God.

I mean, in the, you know, depend in that can be many.

The God, of course, you know, can be just being present in life right now, you know, that, that that's experiencing God, you know, because we spend so much time thinking about the past and future.

Yeah.

So anyway, I've not really answered your question, but.

No, I think that I get where you.

Where you're coming from.

I think, I mean, like, I'm not, I'm not a atheist or I don't know if I would say I'm agnostic.

And I, you know, sometimes I will like, drift back into being fully, you know, in my Catholic upbringing, headspace, you know, I'll shift into that and.

But I'm kind of just kind of watching my perceptions of what I'm thinking and I think ultimately, you know, it goes back to, you know, just trying to treat each treat.

If you live with love and kindness as best you can.

And I try to.

I fail many times, you know, yell it.

I'll send nasty emails to the loud restaurant across the street and, you know, so I'm not always the best at it.

And I've, you know, hurt people, sure as we all have.

But to be as nice as my dog.

I just try to be as nice as she is.

She's a sweetie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a good one.

Well, we have a saying around our side.

This is our fourth question.

And this is.

Goes back to our little.

I don't know if it's a catchphrase.

Or not, but we like to say that things are done up real good.

Meaning basically that they're just pleasing to us or we're into it.

It's something that actually stemmed from my mom.

Oh, nice.

She would say that some.

She would say something's done up real good.

She would actually say it when she was ironing my clothes.

She Would be getting me ready for school or whatever.

She'd say, oh, this shirt is done up real good.

Which means I'm gonna be presentable, I suppose.

So what's done up real good for you of late?

I mean, I could go on all day long about things that are done up real good.

I will say, you know, just something fresh in my head.

Well, give you.

Maybe I'll give you a lightning round of things I really like.

I've had guests do that.

That's good.

Okay, so I really like the TV show Letter Kenny.

Okay.

Yeah.

I love that stunner program.

And girls 5eva, of course, which just came out.

That's done up real good.

So those are two.

And just so I say, letter Kenny, I'm not on that.

I would love to be on that show if anyone's working there watching right now, you know, So I meant, like I mentioned something that I have nothing to do with.

I think that's only fair.

And another thing, my friend Anu Vpel, who lives in Mumbai, I told him, you know, I was back in New York, I'd been back in Ohio for a bit, and he said, oh, my friend from growing up in Calcutta has a restaurant called the Kathi Roll.

And it's like Indian street food.

And I love Indian food.

So I went over there the other day, it was absolutely delicious.

I want to go again today.

That's done up real good, I'd say.

Can I just say Indian?

Because I realize it's not helpful to just tell you a place in my neighborhood that most people.

So I would say just Indian food in general is done up real good.

I love it.

Yeah, there you go.

Blueberry muffins, when done right.

Great.

I'm big into those.

Everything.

Bagels done up real good with cream cheese and butter.

Some people say both is too much, but I'm not afraid to go hard at that.

What else?

Puppies.

My dog.

There you go.

Done up real good.

I'm really into the color lavender lately.

I'd say that's done up real good.

Like, I was at a friend's house and she had.

It might be my favorite color.

She had these some like, you know, they're making all these sodas now that have all this natural good, you know, whatever, like ginseng and a branch from a tree.

And I don't know, but she presented me with a peach colored can, which was probably peach flavored, now that I think about it, and then a lavender can.

And I didn't read either one of them.

And I said, I want the lavender one because it's lavender.

I don't think it had anyway.

But I like that color.

I guess you could again edit.

I feel bad for you.

You probably.

I shouldn't have asked this guy to do this because I really only say a few words of any use to anybody and then the rest is babbling from a lunatic.

But I like the color lavender.

I'll just leave it at that.

Okay, Those are great.

Okay.

Those are great.

You're not the first person to mention a specific restaurant on the show.

People do that quite a bit.

Food seems to be a very common answer.

Honestly, a specific food.

I love.

I love food.

I mean, everyone.

Everyone has to eat.

So everybody loves food.

But that.

I don't know.

Since the advent of Instagram, like people.

I really want to talk about a very specific food.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, Dave, I am much obliged for your time today.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah.

I know you got a lot of irons in the fire.

You're a busy guy with all the bicycling and running and playing and riding and rocking, hosting and.

I know I might have toast after this.

Actually, not to brag.

I'll.

I'll check your Instagram and see.

Yeah, I will document it if I do.

For sure.

And the viewers.

I can't express how funny Dave is.

And he's one of the greats whose humor transfers so well to the page.

So find his books.

Parking the Moose.

Dave Hill doesn't live anymore.

Doesn't live here anymore.

Tasteful nudes.

And he's got essays online as well.

You can find those.

As for us.

Oh, one more thing.

Watch Peacock's Girls 5.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He makes an appearance in episode six or seven.

Episode seven.

It's a surprise.

But it's episode seven.

Okay.

But.

Okay, we'll keep it.

And then the movie.

Movie Drunk Bus, out May 21, stars Charlie Tahan from Ozark.

Will Forte is in it.

And it's.

It's a great movie.

And I.

And I play devo, obsessed drug dealer.

Just weed.

He just steals weed.

That's fair.

That's.

That seems okay.

There you go.

So that will actually be out, I think, a week after our episode drops.

So check it out next week.

And for us, we'll be back next Friday, every Friday with a new episode of Short Takes.

Thanks again to Dave Hill.

We'll talk to everyone later.

We went walking and was blown away.